Attachment Theory and Relationships, Tips for Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Fearful-Avoidant Attachment, and Secured Attachment Styles; What They All Need to Hear to Feel Appreciated
Attachment styles play a major role in all our relationships, as well as our independent emotional well-being.
Stemming from childhood, early experiences take shape as patterns relating to connection and intimacy later in life. There is much to learn about attachment styles, certainly more than what can fit in a single blog post, I have linked further reading below for those who are curious. But today we are exploring what the four main attachment styles need to hear to feel appreciated and understood as well as some advice for supporting healthy relationships. The focus is delving deeper, into who we are and how to care for those we love.
Anxious Attachment - often fearful of abandonment
You are appreciated and cared for as you are, you are not alone and I am here for you. If you are going through challenges, we can work through them together.
Things to work on:
Developing a strong self of self, you can start by celebrating personal achievements and the small wins in your life.
Communication truly is key, the best way for your needs to be met is by sharing them clearly and constructively.
Discover what mindfulness practices work best for you.
Avoidant Attachment - can struggle with intimacy
There is nothing wrong with needing time or space, but you do not have to handle everything all by yourself.
Things to work on:
Being vulnerable can seem daunting, take baby steps to start opening up to the people in your life.
Find what a healthy balance between alone time and engagement with others looks like for you, everyone is different but too much of either can be a bad thing.
Assess where you are in your life, it’s never a wrong time to talk to a therapist.
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment - experience a mix of things
You are always safe with me, it is okay to take things slow and you can trust that I will always be here for you.
Things to work on:
Consider different forms of therapy, perhaps speaking with a professional or maybe just starting with something like shadow work, and see where that leads you.
Safety can be established through little things, it's about consistent actions both in yourself and the different relationships in your life, like anything it's a practice, a journey, not a destination.
Pay attention, and see if you notice patterns in your relationships, consider what these patterns are indicative of.
Secure Attachment - typically trusting and well-balanced
You are an amazing friend and partner, and your stability is noticed and appreciated. We have mutual trust and you are always free to express your feelings and worries.
Things to work on:
You might not need as much communication, but this does not mean that others in your life would not benefit from it, stay honest and open in your relationships.
Your stability can help the ones you love, and support them in as many ways as you can, don’t take anything for granted.
.No matter how secure you are, self-care is still a must. Make sure you are balanced in your life.
Disclaimer: I am not an expert, I am just a blogger! This post is based on general knowledge and is for informational purposes only. If you are struggling with anything, please talk with a qualified mental health professional.
Further Reading:
On breaking down attachment theory research: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2022.2030132#abstract
On attachment styles influence on romantic relationships: https://www.columbiapsychiatry.org/news/how-attachment-styles-influence-romantic-relationships